Chances
by crazy-dreams
Summary: Lorelai has a big decision to make... L/L/C **COMPLETE**
1. Impeccable Timing

Chances  
  
Disc: All characters belong to the nice people at WB. Except for Jess, he's mine.at least, I offered to buy him but Amy-Sherman Palladino won't return my calls..  
  
AN1: Yay, we finally saw the season finale down here in OZ.. Now the US is about to get the 3rd season.. I'm so jealous!  
  
  
  
Part One ~ Impeccable Timing  
  
  
  
"Aw crap," Lorelai Gilmore swore as water built up in the kitchen sink. She turned off the tap. A blocked sink was the last thing she needed this morning. While recovering from a hangover wasn't really the best time to find a new plumber.  
  
After Sookie and Jackson's wedding ceremony she had spent last night drowning her Chris-induced sorrows in champagne. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now all she was left with was a splitting headache and some very alcohol-logged sorrows.  
  
"Stupid sink," Lorelai muttered. She found a spanner and, despite having no idea what she was doing, began loosening pipes under the sink. What the hell, she was a self-sufficient woman.  
  
"Stupid Chris," she continued to mutter, "stupid Sherry, why's she have to go and get pregnant?" Why did Chris have to leave her now? She really needed someone, not being able to talk to Luke the same way anymore. Stupid Luke, refusing to forgive her.  
  
"All men are bastards," she declared loudly.  
  
"Not entirely true," a male voice replied.  
  
"Ah!" a startled Lorelai sat up and hit her head. She slid out from under the sink to see Jess standing at the door.  
  
"You," Lorelai narrowed her eyes, "what are you doing here?"  
  
"I'm looking for Rory," he replied.  
  
"Rory?"  
  
"Yeah, your daughter. Do you know where she is?" Jess asked. Lorelai seemed a bit out of it this morning, more so than usual.  
  
Lorelai thought for a moment, she knew the answer to this one. "Washington!" she declared triumphantly. Rory had run out early that morning and gone to stay with Paris to prepare for their trip to Washington. Rory wanting to stay with Paris. If Lorelai were thinking more clearly she'd be wondering what was wrong with her daughter.  
  
"I just saw her yesterday," said Jess, thinking Lorelai had finally lost it.  
  
"Well she's only in Hartford at the moment," Lorelai explained, "stay away from her, Jess. My life is a mess because of you."  
  
"Because of me?"  
  
"Yeah, you're the reason Luke's barely speaking to me, and you're the reason Chris." Lorelai stopped, maybe she couldn't pin this one on his. But she'd certainly try, "If I hadn't been fighting with Luke I probably wouldn't have been so emotionally needy as to have slept with Chris, giving him a chance to break my heart again."  
  
"My, I have been busy," Jess said sarcastically.  
  
"Just go would you!" Lorelai waved her hand at him.  
  
"Don't have to tell me twice."  
  
Jess left. If Lorelai wanted to make him the scapegoat for all her man problems he didn't really care. All he wanted was to see Rory. Jess shook his head as he walked back to the diner, he must have fallen HARD to move back to this town and put up with all the people here. But since she had initiated their kiss yesterday Jess lived in hope. He honestly did feel bad about any trouble he had caused Rory. And Luke. They were probably the only two people who actually cared about him. And they both cared about Lorelai. Jess began to connect the dots..  
  
Twenty minutes later, Lorelai was still miserable banging away at the pipes when Luke appeared.  
  
"Hi," Lorelai said.  
  
"Hi," he replied.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Lorelai asked, "not that I'm not happy to see you," she hastened to add.  
  
Luke held up Bert the toolbox.  
  
"A little bird told you I might need some help?" she asked.  
  
"If little birds wear Metallica T shirts, then yeah." Luke got to work on the sink and Lorelai watched in silence, pondering Jess' sudden attack of caring and helpfulness.  
  
"All done," Luke reported a couple of minutes later.  
  
"Thanks Luke, you made that look easy."  
  
"Well consider it an apology."  
  
"Really?" a hopeful smile appeared on Lorelai's face, "Luke, I'm so sorry about everything."  
  
"Yeah, I know," Luke said gruffly, "can we just move on?"  
  
"Right. No dwelling," Lorelai promised, "but can I hug you?"  
  
Lorelai held on to Luke tightly, comforted by the warmth and security of his arms. She needed something solid and stable right now.  
  
"Ah, I needed this," she sighed.  
  
"What's wrong?" Luke asked, concerned, as they pulled apart.  
  
Lorelai shook her head, "I don't really want to go into it right now, but I'm glad we're friends again."  
  
"Me too," said Luke, "actually, there's something I have to talk to you about."  
  
Luke and Lorelai sat side by side on the kitchen bench, his left thigh brushing against her right one.  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
"I kind of met someone the other day. She's a friend of a friend and she asked me out."  
  
"Oh," Lorelai felt a pang of jealousy. This wasn't supposed to happen. Luke wasn't supposed to meet anyone. He was supposed to just wait around pining for her. Hmm, where did that come from? "That's great," she said. At least he was sharing. That meant they were friends again. That was all she wanted right?  
  
"I didn't say yes," Luke continued.  
  
"What was it? Bad breath? Funny teeth? Laugh like a donkey?" Lorelai's jokes fell flat.  
  
"No, she's attractive, great personality."  
  
"So why not?"  
  
"Because of you," Luke admitted, "I don't want to start anything while I'm hung up on you, but I don't want to miss an opportunity if there's no chance we'll ever be more than friends. So I need to know what's going on, if this is just one sided, cos I'm going crazy. I think I'm falling in love with you or something nuts like that!"  
  
"Luke I-"  
  
"Will you be quiet for once?" he cut her off, "I have to get this out or else I'll just keep it bottled up inside for who knows how long. Lorelai, I don't want things to go back to the way they were between us. I want more than that. I want to be with you and I need to know once and for all if we have a chance."  
  
Wow, thought a stunned Lorelai, this was a very long speech coming from Luke. Now why was he looking at her like that? Oh yeah, she was supposed to respond. Lorelai moistened her lips, leant in and closed her eyes in anticipation.  
  
"Hello, anyone home? Rory? Lorelai?" a voice interrupted them.  
  
"Chris!" Lorelai leapt off the counter as he walked through the back door.  
  
'Slut' she mentally admonished herself, two men in as many days? What was she doing?  
  
"Hey Lor, oh, hi Luke," Chris greeted them.  
  
"Christopher," Luke hopped down from the bench too. He could really kill that guy right now.  
  
"Chris, what are you doing here?' Lorelai asked, flustered.  
  
"I wanted to talk to you."  
  
"I hear there's this great new invention called the telephone." What was it with people sneaking up on her today?  
  
"You know this is important, is Rory home?" he asked.  
  
"No, she's staying in Hartford."  
  
"Uh, I should get back to the diner," Luke interrupted, looking uncomfortable.  
  
"Oh right, ah, thanks for fixing the sink, Luke. I'll come by the diner later," she added meaningfully.  
  
"Sure," Luke collected his tools and left.  
  
"I didn't interrupt anything between you two did I?" Chris asked Lorelai when they were alone.  
  
"Huh?" Lorelai was staring after Luke, "yeah you kinda did."  
  
"Do you want to..?"  
  
"No, it's okay. We just made up from a fight actually, I'll talk to him later."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Chris what's going on?" Lorelai demanded.  
  
"Let's sit down," he suggested. They moved to the living room.  
  
"So how's Sherri?" Lorelai asked as soon as they were seated on the couch.  
  
"Sherri's fine. She's not pregnant."  
  
"She made it up?" Lorelai asked.  
  
"Not exactly. It was a false alarm, but Sherri knew that when she called, she just wanted me to come home. She rang again to apologise while I was on my way back."  
  
"And?'  
  
"I said I had to talk to you and turned around again."  
  
"So where does that leave you and Sherri?'  
  
"Over. It's always been you, Lor," Chris tried to move in to kiss her but Lorelai pulled her head away.  
  
"Boy you have amazing timing Chris," she shook her head, "I do not believe this."  
  
"What's wrong? The other night I thought you wanted this."  
  
"Yeah and then you left again," Lorelai said angrily.  
  
"I would have always come back for you and Rory. You understand right?"  
  
"That doesn't mean it didn't hurt."  
  
"What about me? What am I supposed to think when I walk in today and find you and Luke sharing who knows what?"  
  
"Yeah I don't know what that was either," Lorelai admitted.  
  
"It doesn't matter," Chris told her, "I love you Lor, I want us to be a real family at last."  
  
"You have no idea how long I've wanted that for."  
  
"And we agreed to give it another shot. You know we're good together."  
  
"Yes we are. We always have been, we could just never get it together.'  
  
"Well here's our chance."  
  
Lorelai smiled suddenly, "you should have seen the look on my mother's face when I hinted that you might be around more often. She looked so pleased with me for the first time I can remember."  
  
"I guess that's it then, I know you'd never do anything that your mother approved of," Chris hung his head momentarily, "but I doubt the second part of my proposal will please her. I want you and Rory to move to Boston with me."  
  
"You want us to move to Boston?" Lorelai repeated.  
  
"Yes," Chris could sense her protest, "just hear me out, I've got a good job there."  
  
"What about my job?" Lorelai interrupted.  
  
"You can find another one, you can play housewife and actually be around when Rory gets home from school, you can sit in a café all day, whatever you want."  
  
"What about Rory?"  
  
"There's good schools in Boston. She'd be close to Harvard. Think about it, what would happen if I moved here? Rory would be off to college in a year and we'd never see her. We'd be stuck with each other. Not that that wouldn't be fantastic. But, come on Lor, I know how close you guys are. With Rory away at college, what is there to keep you here, really?"  
  
"I love this town, Chris."  
  
"Okay, I know I sprung this on you, I know you need time to think about it."  
  
"And talk to Rory," Lorelai said, 'and Luke' she added silently.  
  
"So that's fine. I'll stay at the Inn for a couple of days," Chris continued, "do you have a contact number for Rory?"  
  
Lorelai nodded and got up to find it. When she handed the slip of paper over, Chris captured her hand in his and massaged her palm with his thumb, "I'll make you happy," he promised.  
  
"Whose to say I'm not already happy?" Lorelai challenged.  
  
Chris leant in and kissed her, "that happy?"  
  
"That's pretty good," she admitted.  
  
"You don't mind if I call Rory, do you?" Chris asked as Lorelai walked him to the door.  
  
"No, that's fine, tell her to call me whenever she wants to talk about it."  
  
"Will do. Bye Lor," he said softly, giving her a special smile.  
  
Lorelai smiled too as he left, but quickly crashed back to Earth. What the hell was she going to do now? When she was with Chris he almost had her convinced that everything would be perfect. She could just see it, the two of them and Rory. In Boston. Boston? That had never been part of the plan. It would make sense for Rory. But to leave Stars Hollow? All their friends? And Luke? Ah, unfinished business. 'Step one, talk to Luke,' Lorelai thought.  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
AN2: This is first real take on writing something with more drama and less fluff, so please review and let me know how I'm going. 


	2. First and Foremost

Part Two ~ First and Foremost  
  
  
  
That night Lorelai entered Luke's just as he was closing up.  
  
"Sit, have some coffee," he said, pouring her a mug.  
  
Lorelai was actually disappointed she didn't have to beg for coffee. It made the whole experience somewhat surreal. She just wanted everything to be the way it used to be. She wanted to flirt with Luke over coffee every day and flirt with Chris every couple of months when he decided to drop in for a visit. She didn't want to have to make a choice that would change things forever. Lorelai looked around the room nervously.  
  
"So how's Chris?" Luke asked.  
  
"Uh he's fine."  
  
"And Rory's fine?"  
  
"As far as I know."  
  
"You can say it's none of my business, but what did Chris want?" asked Luke.  
  
"Well considering what almost maybe happened between us before I guess it's kind of your business."  
  
"And the fact that we're friends," Luke added.  
  
"Of course," Lorelai took a deep breath, "he wants me and Rory to move to Boston with him," she blurted out.  
  
"Oh," Luke felt as though he'd been punched in the gut, "you going?"  
  
"I honestly have no idea. Yesterday I probably would have said yes straight away. But then he left me again, and today you show up out of no where."  
  
"I love Jess," Luke declared suddenly.  
  
Lorelai gave him a funny look, "okay."  
  
"If it wasn't for him I would have completely missed my shot." Luke explained, "You still haven't told me if we have a chance."  
  
"I don't know what to say Luke. I mean, we're friends, first and foremost, I don't want to mess with that."  
  
"And then there's Mr Reliable," Luke added bitterly.  
  
"Yes there's Chris. Offering what Rory and I have wanted her whole life."  
  
"It sounds like a no brainer. He's Rory's dad, I'm never gonna be able to compete with that. I don't have a fancy job in a big city, I can't make you any romantic promises, I'm not that guy."  
  
"I don't want you to be that guy, Luke, I love you the way you are."  
  
"You love me? Be honest with me Lorelai, I've put it all out here."  
  
"Yes I do love you. As a friend."  
  
"Nothing more?"  
  
"Yes, but Luke I'm really scared and confused at the moment, I need you to be here for me as a friend."  
  
"I can't do that right now."  
  
"So this is an ultimatum? All or nothing?"  
  
"No, we'll always be friends, whether anything more happens or not. But I can't be the one you talk to about Chris."  
  
"Fair enough," Lorelai finished her coffee and stood up, "thanks for the coffee Luke, I really need to do some thinking."  
  
"You know where to find me." 


	3. Smart enough to know

AN: This chap's about Rory. It's a bit like a separate mini-songfic. Hope it makes sense/  
  
  
  
Part Three ~ Smart Enough To Know  
  
  
  
***  
  
I used to be so happy I could smile  
  
And everything seemed to work out  
  
Now my eyes are starting to close down  
  
I can see you again in my dreams  
  
You're starring my lost and lonely friend  
  
***  
  
  
  
Rory Gilmore didn't know how her life had gotten to be like this. How she'd gone from being a relatively happy teenager with a stable life, good grades, great boyfriend and all the rest to being such a mess.  
  
It was 4:45 am and Rory had gotten very little sleep since speaking to her dad the night before about moving to Boston. After putting aside her anger at Christopher for taking off in the middle of Sookie's wedding she'd been happy, more for her mom's sake than anything, that he had returned. When Boston was mentioned she'd been put off at first. There was enough turmoil in her life as it was without having to make a choice like that. But Rory had finally come to a decision. She decided it was exactly what she needed right now. A change.  
  
She was staying with her Grandparents in Hartford because she wasn't ready to go home just yet.  
  
Rory thought she needed some time and space to think, but maybe she thought too much. She thought about the mess with Jess and Dean, which lead, for some inexplicable reason to thinking about Tristan, whom she hadn't seen for nearly a year. Rory guessed it was because they were the only three guys who'd mattered in her life. The ones she'd loved. Was it possible to love more than one person at once? Was it possible to have been in love three times by the age of seventeen? Did she even know what love was?  
  
Rory had professed to be in love with Dean. Her solid, dependable boyfriend; the first boy she kissed.  
  
  
  
Was it love when someone made you a car?  
  
  
  
***  
  
What do you say, when words are not enough?  
  
Too few won't sum it up, too many's just too much  
  
I've read all the signs, but still don't know the way  
  
I could try and lead you there, but I'd just lead you astray  
  
Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies  
  
If you wanna be with me, cos the truth would set you free  
  
Don't look too closely or you'll see my disguise  
  
I saw the love between us die, but I'm not ready for goodbye  
  
Don't ask for more  
  
Cos what you're searching for, you won't find at my door  
  
***  
  
  
  
Now Rory was talking to herself. Not to herself, per se, although there was no one else in the room. She was talking to the tall, dark-haired boy in her mind, practicing how to tell Dean that she was moving to Boston. She already knew how he'd respond. He'd be mad, but pretend he wasn't, he'd insist on attempting a futile long-distance relationship. And when she'd explain why it wouldn't work he'd say how much he loved and would miss her.  
  
  
  
In many ways Rory didn't want to break up with Dean. Their relationship made sense. Things with him were simple, predictable and safe. But Rory wanted more than that.  
  
And she wanted to be the one to leave this time. Rory was sick of people taking off and leaving her hurt and confused. Her dad, constantly coming and going, Jess disappearing to New York, Tristan being sent to military school.  
  
  
  
***  
  
So rather than being kicked around  
  
I'm gonna kick you to the kerb  
  
So rather than being pushed around  
  
I'm gonna push you away first  
  
So rather than trying to protect you  
  
I'm gonna cover my bases first  
  
So rather than trying to open my heart  
  
I'm gonna lock it with a key  
  
So that only the special ones  
  
Can ever get through to me  
  
***  
  
  
  
She had to protect her heart while there was still something left. A part of it had died the day Tristan left. Rory never admitted it to anyone, barely even to herself. She'd never let it show, but it was there. She had cared. Too much for her own good. Rory would catch herself thinking about him, daydreaming, wishing things were different, wondering what might have been.  
  
  
  
***  
  
Every last goodbye  
  
Lasts until long after it's been said  
  
And so many times  
  
I think of the words that I  
  
Should have used instead  
  
But I can hold on to this  
  
Close my eyes dream  
  
Picture the things I miss  
  
***  
  
  
  
Despite his relentless teasing and tormenting her, Rory missed Tristan. Everything from the way he wore the school uniform to the glint in his eye when he spoke to her.  
  
He was so infuriating, yet Rory loved the way he made her FEEL. There was an undeniable spark between them, something she never got with Dean. But just when Rory would be ready to give in to the chemistry he'd flirt with some other girl and she would feel a strange and unwelcome feeling in the pit of her stomach. Jealousy.  
  
  
  
Was it love when you felt a physical ache watching them with someone else?  
  
  
  
***  
  
Every day's a contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction  
  
Some wounds not even time can heal  
  
You know you should walk before you learn to run  
  
Take a little time to become the one you tried so hard to conceal  
  
But tonight I'm in some kind of trace and it won't let go  
  
Tonight just a sideways glance and I lose control  
  
I don't wanna want you, even though I want to  
  
I don't wanna want you tonight  
  
***  
  
  
  
She didn't know why she'd fallen for him. He was everything she didn't want in a guy, but Rory couldn't ignore what she felt. Even months later she would still occasionally catch herself remembering a particular moment they shared. The kiss at Madeleine's party was a favourite, but right now it was 'Romeo and Juliet' that stuck in her mind. It figured they'd been doing the death scene. That made it somehow appropriate that he'd had to leave before their highly anticipated stage kiss.  
  
So Tristan had taken a little bit of her heart with him to military school and left an inkling of doubt in her mind as to what he was doing with Dean. But Dean was a great boyfriend, apart from his jealous streak. He was caring and dependable. Unfortunately he was also boring. He was too damn nice. What was here obsession with bad boys? First Tristan, now Jess. She was sure there was a psychological explanation for it somewhere, making up for her 'good girl' image.  
  
"Hey Juliet," a voice from outside interrupted her thoughts.  
  
Great, Rory thought, now she wasn't just daydreaming, she was hallucinating as well.  
  
"Juliet!" the voice called again and a rock hit the French doors leading out to the balcony, "come on, Rory, open up."  
  
No way, Rory thought. Slightly dazed, she opened the doors and peered over the balcony railing, half-expecting to see Tristan standing below.  
  
But it was Jess who had been calling out to her.  
  
"Jess!" Rory hissed, "what are you doing here?"  
  
"I was in the neighbourhood, thought I'd say hi." He climbed a tree and joined her on the balcony.  
  
"In the neighbourhood?" Rory repeated.  
  
"Yeah, it's such a nice neighbourhood to take a walk in."  
  
"Now's not really a good time," Rory told him.  
  
"Sorry, but I figured this way you couldn't avoid me. You skipped town so fast.." Jess trailed off.  
  
  
  
***  
  
When I wake up, it's in my head  
  
I don't need to take it with me to bed  
  
When you come round, just let me be  
  
I don't need to hear it from you, you see  
  
I don't wanna know about love  
  
***  
  
  
  
What did he want her to say? Rory wondered. Explain why she kissed him? Admit she was attracted to him?  
  
"I don't know what to say," Rory admitted.  
  
"About what?" Jess asked.  
  
"About why you're here."  
  
"Why am I here?" Jess asked innocently.  
  
Fine, she didn't want to talk about it either. Rory remained silent.  
  
"Just say anything," Jess suggested.  
  
"I might be moving to Boston."  
  
"Oh."  
  
They just sat on the balcony together for a while, each lost in their own thoughts.  
  
"You better go," Rory said finally.  
  
"Okay, I'll see you round," Jess replied casually.  
  
He turned around just before climbing back down the tree, "hey let me know when you find the best bookstore in Boston. I might see you there some day," Jess hinted.  
  
  
  
Was it love when you'd follow each other anywhere?  
  
  
  
***  
  
So I keep watch and you keep breaking  
  
Breaking formation to become someone else  
  
And your eyes become corridors  
  
Where I wander, with a candle, calling out to you  
  
And you only hide, because you know I'll find you  
  
You say you just wanna feel the way you used to feel  
  
The way you should feel  
  
And I wander, I wander through the lost city of you  
  
And you only hide because you know I'll find you  
  
***  
  
  
  
Well that was an articulate conversation, Rory thought sarcastically.  
  
But it didn't matter what they did or didn't talk about, she felt connected with Jess on a deeper level than anyone before. Despite obvious differences, they had a lot in common - books, music, absent fathers. But Rory was confused. She didn't want to deal with those feelings right now.  
  
Rory wanted to run. Maybe it was a cop out, taking the easy road without really facing the issues, but she wanted a fresh start. She was tired of everyone else dictating who she was and what she was like.  
  
  
  
***  
  
Blow the candles out  
  
Raise a glass to the night  
  
Let all the tension out  
  
You've been wound up so tight  
  
It's a tender track  
  
To plan ahead all the time  
  
If you measure the world  
  
By what you leave behind  
  
***  
  
  
  
And she wanted a chance to see her parents together. In that respect Rory felt like a little lost girl. She just hoped Chris would stick around long enough for it to work. Things had been good growing up with her mom and now Rory wanted Lorelai to be happy and have everything she'd sacrificed to raise her.  
  
As much as she loved living in Stars Hollow, and all their friends there, Rory knew she could bear to leave. What might have once freaked her out completely didn't seem like a big deal. After all, she's be going to college in a year anyway. After seventeen years in the once place Rory felt grown up and ready to move on. From everything and everyone.  
  
Maybe she would meet someone new in Boston. Maybe one day she'd meet one of her first loves again. Rory didn't know, but she didn't really care either. She was prepared to take the chance.  
  
She knew things couldn't go back to the way they were before. You could only move forward. And that was what she was gonna do.  
  
Rory picked up the phone.. "Hi Mom.."  
  
  
  
  
  
* Lyrics borrowed from: The Whitlams, Abby Dobson, George, Butterfly 9, Chiara Brown, Wicked Beat Sound System, Something for Kate, Powderfinger. If you've never heard of any of them it's cos they're all Aussie. I think we have some talent down here, hidden among the kangaroos. 


	4. Persuasive Charm

Part Four ~ Persuasive Charm  
  
  
  
Lorelai spent the night tossing and turning in bed, finally drifting into an uneasy sleep at about 5am, no closer to a decision.  
  
The ringing of the phone woke her several hours later.  
  
"Hello?" Lorelai said with a yawn.  
  
"Hi Mom."  
  
"Hi Sweetie, how's it going?"  
  
Rory skipped the pleasantries, "I spoke to dad."  
  
"What do you think?" Lorelai was wide-awake now.  
  
"I think it's great!"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Absolutely, you and Dad together."  
  
"What about the Boston part?"  
  
"That's great too."  
  
"It is?" Lorelai was stunned.  
  
"Sure, it's close to Harvard."  
  
"You're really prepared to leave Stars Hollow, the only home you've ever known? To leave Lane and Dean and everyone else?"  
  
"I'd be leaving in a year anyway."  
  
"What's going on," Lorelai asked suspiciously, "why are you so eager to skip town all of a sudden?"  
  
"Why are you trying to talk me out of it? Don't you want to go? Or do you just want me to make it easy for you?"  
  
"Don't make this about me! Rory, are you sure this is what you want?"  
  
"Yeah Mom, I'm sure. And this is about you."  
  
Lorelai changed the subject abruptly, "Jess was looking for you yesterday."  
  
"Oh," Rory tried to sound uninterested.  
  
"Yeah, in fact.Hang on, I can hear a car, I think it's your dad."  
  
"Okay, I'll let you go. Say hi for me. Bye Mom!" Rory hung up.  
  
  
  
Lorelai went outside to find Chris standing on her front lawn, music blaring from the sound system of his car.  
  
  
  
***  
  
I cried wolf, she cried liar  
  
I broke another bottle with my hands on fire  
  
I walked 10 miles just to sing my song for you  
  
***  
  
  
  
"You're going to serenade me?" Lorelai guessed.  
  
"No, I was going to ask you to dance with me," Chris held out his hand, "come on Lor, you know we both can."  
  
Lorelai couldn't help laughing as she took his hand and he spun her around.  
  
  
  
***  
  
I cried no she cried yes  
  
I'm a good dancer honey I confess  
  
But there's a badness  
  
Right in deep my soul for you  
  
***  
  
  
  
"Rory says hi," Lorelai told Chris as they danced.  
  
"Hey, you talked to her? What's the verdict?"  
  
"She's happy to move to Boston."  
  
"That's great! I'm really ready for this," Chris said happily.  
  
  
  
***  
  
I love you baby, can you tie my shoe?  
  
I love you darling, when the rent is due  
  
I love you sweetheart, when I'm feeling blue  
  
I love you baby, always have, always do  
  
***  
  
  
  
Luke was out for a walk, which, naturally enough, led him past Lorelai's place. He stopped short when he saw her in Chris' arms.  
  
  
  
***  
  
I read it in a letter, saw it on the ground  
  
I got fucked up and I got put down  
  
When I heard, you were running around with another  
  
Wrote a song about love, a song about hate  
  
I knew that you'd been crying when I saw your face  
  
In all the madness we can be together  
  
***  
  
  
  
Luke turned and walked away again. She looked happy. He was just sorry he couldn't be the one to bring her that happiness.  
  
  
  
***  
  
I love you baby, can you tie my shoe?  
  
I love you darling when the rent is due  
  
I love you sweetheart, when I'm feeling blue  
  
I love you baby, always have, always do  
  
***  
  
  
  
"I love you baby," Chris said to Lorelai.  
  
"You're a charming man, Christopher Hayden," she told him. She loved the way he could always make her laugh. In so many ways they were the perfect couple.  
  
"Come to Boston with me?" he asked.  
  
"Yes," she agreed. It felt so right in his arms.  
  
"Yes!" Chris hugged her tight and spun her around.  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC.. 


	5. Missed Opportunities

Part Five ~ Missed Opportunities  
  
  
  
That night Lorelai went to the diner, the same as the night before.  
  
"You're going to Boston," Luke stated flatly. He flipped the 'closed' sign on the door after she entered.  
  
Lorelai was crying. She nodded, "I'm so sorry Luke."  
  
"What's to be sorry about?" he wiped down a table ferociously.  
  
"I think I could love you in that way," Lorelai explained, "But I've always loved Chris. This is something we have to try. And Rory wants to go," she begged him to understand.  
  
And he did, but that didn't make it any easier. Luke put down the cloth.  
  
"I can't change your mind?" he had to try, "I promise I'll make you coffee every morning."  
  
The corners of Lorelai's mouth twitched up to form a half-smile. But it was a sad, bittersweet smile. She could see herself living with Luke, loving Luke. But Chris had been her dream, her whole life for so long, and Lorelai couldn't help but think that was the way things were meant to be.  
  
"Luke, we're friends. We work well as friends," she said.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And sometimes I think we could be more than friends."  
  
"I would like that," Luke said.  
  
  
  
"But I think we missed our moment."  
  
"So that's it? It's too late?"  
  
"Yeah. Don't you think it makes sense just to keep things the way they are?"  
  
"With you in Boston?"  
  
"Come on Luke, we'll always be friends, right?" Fresh tears welled up in Lorelai's eyes and she looked terrified that he would say no, making this even harder than it already was.  
  
"Sure." Luke held out his arms and they hugged for a moment, than broke apart, still holding each other lightly.  
  
"I'm gonna miss you," said Lorelai, "think of me sometimes?"  
  
"Always," Luke promised.  
  
"No," she corrected, "just sometimes."  
  
  
  
***  
  
Somehow I feel alive  
  
But a part of me is dying  
  
And I can feel the pain  
  
Somewhere deep inside  
  
A part of me is crying  
  
Just crying out your name  
  
Somewhere I'll dream of you  
  
Somewhere where dreams come true  
  
***  
  
  
  
Lorelai could feel a part of her heart breaking. She had never felt so torn. She'd made the decision to go with Chris, that was what she wanted. But there had always been a something between her and Luke that had never been explored, and now it was too late.  
  
  
  
***  
  
If you look into my eyes  
  
I love you though I'm leaving  
  
I just wanna hold you tight  
  
Don't ever compromise  
  
And never stop believing  
  
Believing we were right  
  
Somewhere I'll dream of you  
  
Somewhere where dreams come true  
  
***  
  
  
  
But there was one thing she had to do.  
  
Lorelai looked up at Luke, leaned in and kissed his lips softly. Luke returned the kiss.  
  
Their first and last kiss, Lorelai thought. She wiped a tear away, "I should be going," she whispered.  
  
Luke just nodded, not trusting himself to speak.  
  
"Hey Luke," Lorelai turned just before walking out the door, "good luck with the girl."  
  
He looked at her questioningly.  
  
"The girl who asked you out?" Lorelai reminded him.  
  
"Sarah?"  
  
"Yeah, call Sarah. Don't miss another opportunity. Be happy, Luke."  
  
  
  
'Happy?' Luke thought as he watched her leave, how the hell was he supposed to be happy? He sat down on a stool and rubbed his face with his hands.  
  
"If you love something set it free..." Jess quipped, appearing from the apartment.  
  
"Shut up Jess," Luke snapped.  
  
"You don't think it bothers me that Rory's moving to Boston?" his nephew asked.  
  
"Yeah, too bad you came back here for nothing," said Luke.  
  
"Nah, it was worth it," Jess said, "she kissed me."  
  
Luke thought of Lorelai's kiss. Was it worth it? Five seconds of bliss after five years of longing? That didn't seem fair. But maybe that was the price he paid for waiting too long to take his chance. He honestly hoped she'd be happy. One of them should be.  
  
"Hey Luke?" Jess said, "call the other chick."  
  
  
  
"What are you my dating agent?" Luke asked, "would you let me recover from one thing at a time?"  
  
"At your pace you'll be 40 before you meet another woman. Either make Lorelai stay or move on," Jess advised.  
  
"I can't make her stay," Luke realised sadly. At least he had tried. At least she knew how he felt. And he knew that she loved him too. Just not enough.  
  
  
  
TBC... 


	6. Flawed Timing

AN: I just want to thank everyone who reviewed and apologise if the story doesn't end the way you want it to, but, well, not everything can always have a prefect, neat, and happy ending.  
  
  
  
Part Six ~ Flawed Timing  
  
  
  
  
  
***  
  
Intuition tells me how to live my day  
  
Intuition tells me when to walk away  
  
Could have turned left  
  
Could have turned right  
  
But I ended up here  
  
Bang in the middle of real life  
  
***  
  
  
  
Six weeks later...  
  
Lorelai stood outside the diner for a moment before entering. Today was the day she and Rory moved to Boston. Timing was everything, Lorelai had decided. Forget love, it wasn't enough. She had loved Christopher for years but he hadn't been ready. Now they were finally in the same place at the same time and Luke had entered the equation. But the timing wasn't right for her and Luke either, not with Chris back in her life. Because Chris had always been the one for Lorelai. He was the one who sent her an amazing graduation present. He was the one she called in the middle of her bachelorette party; the one she called when Rory was in hospital. He was always the one she called. Chris knew her like no one else did. Lorelai had to believe it would work out for them this time.  
  
Lorelai wondered if she should just leave without seeing Luke, if that would be easier on both of them. Things hadn't been the same between them for a long time now, and they could never go back to the way they once were. But it wouldn't be right to leave without saying goodbye, so Lorelai forced herself to walk through the diner door.  
  
  
  
Luke was talking to a woman in the diner when he looked up to see Lorelai enter.  
  
"Lorelai, hi. I thought you were leaving today?"  
  
"We are," she nodded to the packed car outside, "just stopped by to get some coffee for the road."  
  
"Right." They stood staring at each other.  
  
The woman Luke had been talking to looked back and forth between them and cleared her throat, "hi, I'm Sarah," she introduced herself to Lorelai.  
  
"Sorry, Sarah, this is Lorelai Gilmore," Luke said.  
  
"You're best customer right?" asked Sarah.  
  
"Ex-best," said Luke, "Lorelai's moving to Boston today."  
  
"Well, its nice to meet you," Sarah told Lorelai.  
  
"You too," Lorelai forced a smile. Sarah seemed nice. Cute, friendly, athletic. "You be good to Luke won't you?"  
  
"Of course," Sarah smiled affectionately at him.  
  
"Hey Luke, did you meet her in a Timberland store?" Lorelai asked.  
  
A small smile appeared on Luke's face, "yeah, I guess so."  
  
Sarah looked perplexed, "am I missing something here?"  
  
"Don't worry, it's a good thing," Lorelai assured her. She picked up the coffees, "well it was good to meet you Sarah, I better get going now."  
  
"See ya," said Luke, as if it would be tomorrow. As far as he was concerned, they'd said their goodbyes a month ago.  
  
"Goodbye Luke," Lorelai said softly and simply before turning and walking out the door.  
  
And suddenly it hit him. Luke couldn't believe he might be watching her walk away for good. That might have been the last Lorelai coffee he poured. Luke didn't know if he was ready for that kind of finality. For a moment it seemed as though he would run after her, but his gaze shifted to Sarah.  
  
"Want some more coffee?" he asked.  
  
"No thanks, too much coffee's bad for you. Got any tea?"  
  
Luke nodded his head.  
  
  
  
Outside Rory was hugging Lane and crying. She had told Dean not to come and see them off. In the back of her mind, Rory wondered where Jess was. They had left so much unfinished, but she trusted that they'd meet again some day.  
  
Lorelai hugged Sookie, but with dry eyes. There would be no crying for her today.  
  
It seemed as though half the town had come to see them off. Lorelai hugged Jackson, Babette, Miss Patty, and even Michel, but drew the line at Taylor.  
  
Chris, who was sitting in the driver's seat of the jeep, beeped the horn. "Hey girls, time to get going."  
  
  
  
Rory wiped away her tears and climbed into the backseat. Lorelai paused and looked at the diner one more time. She took a deep breath. Last chance to make history. Biting her lower lip, she climbed into the car.  
  
"Hi," Chris brushed her cheek with his hand, "I'm really glad you're coming," he turned to smile at Rory.  
  
Was this right? Lorelai wondered. She didn't know anymore. She didn't doubt that Chris would love them both. 'Luke loved you both too,' a voice in the back of her mind said.  
  
Choices were too hard. Sometimes you just had to take a chance, run with it and not look back. Cos life was too short to live with the pain of regret. Lorelai knew a small part of her would always wonder what might have been. But as the jeep pulled away from the curb and the crowd dispersed behind them, Lorelai didn't look back. She stared straight at the road ahead.  
  
  
  
***  
  
And I know it aches  
  
And your heart it breaks  
  
You can only take so much  
  
  
  
Walk on  
  
Leave it behind  
  
You've got to leave it behind  
  
***  
  
  
  
FINIS  
  
Nobody hurt me!  
  
  
  
Songs shamelessly ripped off from:  
  
"I love you baby," by Dan Brodie, off last year's 'Stingers' finale where Pete & Mac were maybe gonna get back together only he got Danni pregnant (sounds familiar..)  
  
"I'll dream of you," off the 'Water Rats' soundtrack, from when Frank sailed away, leaving Rachel crying on the dock  
  
"Intuition," by Natalie Imbruglia from the album 'Left of the middle'  
  
"Walk On," by U2 cos Bono's a legend 


End file.
